Part 1
Tanner-Monagle Studio, Milwaukee, WI
Click. John Tanner, the sound guru and overall goofball and wonder man, pops in over the headphones. “I need just a few more minutes.”
I never professionally recorded anything before except for a little Irish song I had written twenty years earlier. And then suddenly this past Christmas, here I was facing a studio full of accomplished, professional instrumental musicians, many from the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra, who were going to play my music and follow my conducting for the entire day. I think the perfect two-words best describing what I was going through before the first four-beat tempo pattern was…
Sheer horror.
What’s there to be scared about, right? By that time, I had conducted over 70 musicals, opened one of my shows Off Broadway, and conducted choirs in concerts for over 20 years. What’s the big deal?
It’s funny. People don’t realize that artists are generally insecure folks. They are people like anybody else. They want to do their best and they don’t want to make fools of themselves. Nerves are normal. We all have them – even the pros. Johnny Carson had to be coaxed to get on stage every night of his career. Who woulda’ thunk? We all need support. We all need to know that we did ok. We’re human.
Click. On my headphone, John comes in again, and says he’s ready whenever I am, for the first run of the first song.
So here I am raising my Number Two pencil (my trusty baton and usual work tool…) ready to give a downbeat, when suddenly, all of these things flash into my mind…
“Please, God, please…
- …don’t let me royally screw up.”
- …did I arrange the orchestrations the right way?”
- …let me keep a steady tempo.”
- …let the musicians feel like I know what I’m doing.”
- …the music is arranged for an Eb Alto Sax, right? I did put it in the right key, right?”
- …don’t let me royally screw up.”
- …give me the strength to be able to stand up and conduct for 8 hours straight on this 4-foot-high platform.”
- …don’t let me cue musicians wrong.”
- …let the music sound like it was sounding in my head.”
- …let the musicians like the music they’re playing.”
- …don’t let me royally screw up.”
And…the downbeat. Beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat…
Hey, this sounds okay. Hey, this actually sounds terrific. Hey, this is really a lot of fun. Gee, let’s make some gorgeous music in this phrase. The song is done already, really? Hey, the musicians are smiling.
Click. On my headphone, John says, “Ok, that was a nice run-through. You want to clean up anything or do you want to record this time?
Suddenly, I’m in my element. Fear is gone. Hot damn, this is fun!
